I am good at a few things and one of the things I am good at and actually like doing is thinking about how small organizations I like can find funding, thrive, innovate, and continue sharing their offerings with the community.
What I would like to do is this “thing” full time. That, and develop a new kind of dating service called “Date My Friend” that would be a hybrid of internet dating and community building.
Both of these concepts are hard for me to articulate in a concrete way and I think what I need is help but if I start reaching out for real help, I would need a lot of processing time and then would have to quit my job and figure out how to fund these endeavors. And then I would have more ideas and it would be even harder to manage. A big part of me finds it difficult to see how large organizations can survive (and by survive I mean find sustainability/prosperity) OR how small, entrepreneurial ventures can either. My distrust of any kind of business sustainability is tied up completely in the fantasy of capitalism and of the international belief system built on the eternal feasibility of debt. I know expecting a level of safety is too much to ask.
Why is being a grown up and trying to make a difference in my community so freaking hard? And how do I survive without money but in an urban setting? And why did I forget to develop a marketable skill? And why did the world decide to make economic survival so difficult now?
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